Is Dating a Numbers Game? – the Danger of Online Dating ( part 1)

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Multiple dating choices result in dumping plenty of potential partners – its a longer journey when you search online

The benefit of online dating is that it provides access to a large selection of candidates. It can be fantastic if used properly, however it also creates difficulties. The danger lies when people search around for the “best partner” – it is human nature to think that “the grass will be greener” on the next date. As a result the search can become endless. Online daters often walk away from candidates who they would find appealing when given less choice. In other words, the journey to search and find a potential mate becomes longer and less satisfying with online dating.

I have heard people saying:

“There are millions of people out there, I must be with the wrong one. Time to go and find someone else”.

Quite a few clients told me that before coming to our service they had met over 100 people out of several hundred candidates from the RSVP dating site and found nobody to their satisfaction. They found the whole process disheartening.

A friend of mine was among the top 100 popular females on RSVP a few years ago. She received 100 responses per day. After about three year’s strenuous effort, she found her “perfect man”. He matched all her criterion and she was deeply in love. Her marriage only lasted a couple of years, he walked away without a trace and reason why. She is now facing the reality of searching again, but finds herself lacking the motivation to do it even after over 3 years of being alone.

Do you believe that among 100 candidates there really is nobody with whom you can live a life with? In the days before online dating was available and fashionable, do you really think that these people would have to go through so many dates before landing in a stable relationship? Some people may genuinely have made the right decision to move on, but a lot of them will have dumped potential candidates who could have happily been their long term partners.

As for my friend, I must say she is doing better than others. She had a relationship and loved, while many others don’t. But would she have done better (meaning to find a stable partner, or marry for a longer term) if she wasn’t given those multiple choices from RSVP? I’m sure that there are other issues involved in the ending of the relationship (such as her idea in selecting a partner, which I will discuss in another post). For now I can tell you that if she hadn’t gone through the internet dating process, and was not put on top 100 females, getting 100 suitors per day, she would, at least, not have to end up being shocked when her partner disappeared without explanation.

All these people’s experiences are pointing to the questions:

Is multiple dating choice the best solution?

How can we use multiple dating choices to achieve success?

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