How to use our functions

We are a dating service which operate in two ways to help people meet a partner: 

1) One to one introduction service.  2) Social functions

If you just want to visit our function with intention to meet someone compatible, you may find it useful to be informed:

Attend regularly.

We have 700 members who are eligible singles and sincerely looking for a partner. Each function only includes 30 to 60 people among them, 40% are guests like you. Our members only choose to come occasionally. To a large degree, each function you will meet different members. Some members never attend functions. Therefore, there is no guarantee that the right person for you is always there when you attend. You are taking chance to see who is there and then.

Approach everyone at the party

You have to make sure to be friendly, taking initiative, so you make contact with maximum number of people there.

You do not want to judge people by their appearance. Someone who is average in looking might have a heart of gold, a brilliant brain and a great sense of humour or even may be a very sexy lover; to say nothing about chance of discovering a rough diamond!

Feedback after the party

Most of our functions are organised with lots of effort trying to get like minded people together. I have information about most people you meet at the party.

Talk to me regarding someone who caught your eye in the evening. I have comprehensive profile on all our members. Most of our guests are friends of our members, whom I have information about or have access to find out about. I can save your time and trouble in approaching a wrong person or eliminate the situation that you are chasing someone who is not interested.

One to one introduction service

Another way and perhaps a more reliable way to meet a compatible person with least effort is to use our one to one intro service;  To serve you as our member,  we connect you with everyone from our list who is compatible with you, not just the ones who meet at our functions; we also continuously search for the potential person for you.  You meet people of your choice at one to one base. 95% of our successful couples met each other through this way. You can try if you would like to enlarge the number of new people you are able to meet. To do that, come to have a meeting with me in my office. Ring me: 0433 312514 / 0411 768636 anytime or at office: 02 92614266 -Rose

Artilcle by Rachel Wells, February 14, 2012, Sydney Morning Herald

THOUSANDS of lovelorn Australians are enlisting private investigators to do background checks on potential partners they meet online.

Julia Robson, from DateScreen - which specialises in investigating online Romeos - says she receives about 20 calls a day to the service she launched in June last year.

Similarly, Lachlan Jarvis, from Lyonswood Investigations and Forensic Group, says investigating cyber love rats now makes up about 10 per cent of the group's investigations business.

The inquiries come from men and women wanting to check would-be lovers are not already married or lying about their wealth or, more seriously, aren't crooks with criminal records.

''There's a whole list of reasons why people use our service,'' says Ms Robson, who also receives calls from concerned family members. ''But often they just want to find out that everything this person is saying about themselves is true.''

Ms Robson says the checks are not only saving people from a broken heart, but in many cases, tens of thousands of dollars.

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission says Australians were scammed of more than $21 million while trying to find love online last year. The average loss reported to the consumer watchdog was $20,000.

The real cost of online love scams - in which a scammer woos a genuine dating site user to get them to provide money or personal details - could be much higher, given many people are often too embarrassed to report it.

And Ms Robson says it can happen to anyone. ''I had a client last year who was a very smart, professional woman who lost thousands to a man claiming to be a successful businessman who needed money for his business … I see it all the time.''

She applauded the commission's announcement yesterday it has introduced voluntary guidelines for dating sites to better protect consumers.

She says historically dating sites have been ''too slow'' to act on concerns reported by users.

The guidelines call on sites to display prominent scam warnings on their websites; implement internal checking procedures to better detect scammers; and introduce effective complaint handling procedures.

Why use a third person service - Story 2

Communication is a major challenge in personal relationships. We all carry more or less baggage due to personal issues such as failed relationships, childhood issues, personal growth issues, or stories of other people who had bad relationship experiences, etc. When it comes to meeting a new person, trying to start an intimate relationship, those baggage stays in the way in our communication. People lose plenty opportunities of connecting with a real potential partner due to communication breakdown caused by those problems.

Apart from working on getting rid of our internal baggage, using a third person service can help break through those blockage in communication.

This story shows how a well educated intelligent person can benefit from a personalised third person service by using its potential.

Andy is a successful stock broker at his late 40s. He has divorced for many years, and had a recent relationship which ended a couple of years before he came to see me. He had no children from his previous marriage but coming from a loving family, he really wanted to have his own. He had used dating website RSVP; then personal introduction agencies " Bluelabel Life" , " Vital Partners" before he came to see me. The first thing he said to me as he entered my office was " I want to meet someone who really wants to have kids ". His previous girlfriend dated him for two years before she told him she could not have children. He felt misled. He spent 2 years life building a relationship which could not fulfil his needs. He had to start again because it was essential to have a family.

As our conversation went on, I realised Jenny was the person he was looking for. She, at her late 30s, was an attractive entertainer with a divorce and no kids. She was a family person who regarded marriage as an essential form of relationship. As I was showing her photo to Andy, he was surprised as he realised that they had met each other 3 years before in a business meeting. He was very attracted to her then however would not be able to ask her out because he assumed she was married. It looks like Jenny had been waiting on my list for 2 and half years for Andy! I was confident as I knew her well and knew what kid of man she wants.

I phoned Jenny saying " I think this time I have found someone for you ".

They clicked at first meeting. Feedback from both sides was good. Andy contacted me almost everyday keeping in touch. A few weeks went by, I received an email from him. He said, everything was going well between, and they seemed to have so much in common. However there wasn't much intimacy involved. He had wasted 2 years from previous relationship; did not want to break up in a few months with no results. I understood his concern - he was not sure how much she liked him. But I was sure she did like him because I knew her dating habit. Jenny was very intuitive in judging her dates. She would not carry on meeting him if she was not interested. I just have to double check with her. I told Andy to wait for me. I phoned Jenny straightaway. She said to me: " I like him a lot. I want to take it slow because I want to make it permanent! I also do not want to get hurt! He has not taken any initiative yet either.....".   My assessment was confirmed. I sent Andy a text that evening on his mobile saying " .......She likes you a lot and she wants to make it permanent. why don't you put your fear in the wind, go ahead and love as if you have never been hurt before? ". Andy replied: "....points taken...I will go ahead"

One week later, Andy's email came:

.........As per your suggestion, I threw caution to the wind and opened my heart to Jenny and it has worked a treat. Thank you for your wisdom.  Jenny has also opened her heart to me as well.  We are getting closer and closer.

.......... We have fallen so madly in love with each other.  Things are going very well.  We are so well suited to each other.

Andy and Jenny married in January 2008.

In 2010 I received an email from Jenny:

..........All is great with us - we have just bought our new home together and are very happy.  It is unbelievable how well suited we are together.  It is so easy being in our relationship.  Andy is truly one of a kind.  We work so well together.

Look around. Your best friend can be the best candidate as your life long partner!

Romantic Maria ( original name of this client is not revealed for privacy reason ) came to me looking for her other half. She was a bubbly, feminine, beautiful lady at her early 50s. She had a happy marriage until one day she found her husband had been in an affair for over a year. She divorced and waited 7 years before she decided to find love again.

She met a dozen of men from our service, including some very like minded guys who share her Mediterranean passion and food! I took her personally to the dance venues where most European people go, so she could meet men in her calibre. One year passed and she was dating a man whom she liked. The relationship went for 6 months. Then one day she came to tell me she would like to stop meeting him as she felt not quite right.

A couple of months later, she informed me that she was in a very happy relationship. He was a man whom she had known for years. She said they had been nothing but friends with each other. After meeting and dating all those men from our service and other places, she suddenly felt there was a cosy connection with this man who was always around. He came from same cultural background. He knew her family and her ex husband. He understood where she came from and had been supportive and ready to help when she needed him.

She said she never realised before that this man was a perfect man for her!

Maria's story is common. I have met people often, who had same experience.

A person who is your friend can be the best candidate as your life long partner. As we understand, friendship is the most reliable foundation for a compatible relationship. People tend to overlook the potential from a cosy friend in considering a long term partner. Simple reason is that we want to " fall in love " with someone who makes our heart beat fast. This is what everyone is consciously seeking in today's dating scene especially dating after divorce. Most people won't meet again unless there is sort of " heart thumping" at initial meeting.

However, if we recall when young people fall in love in school or university, where you meet each other everyday with or without sense of dating. Everything happens naturally and gradually while you get to know each other inevitably. "Heart thumping" doesn't come overnight, but when it happens, it is with someone whom you already know and feel comfortable. And if this pattern happens to you as a mature adult, there is more potential to believe you have established a foundation for your relationship. A friend has become a lover. You can be more confident that you have met your perfect partner.

Maria did not have the heart thumping feeling with her current partner while she was married and years after she divorced. He was an existing friend. However because her friendship with him continued while she was focusing on looking for a partner elsewhere, she was able to know him naturally without pressure to judge him as a lover. Finally she was able to feel a " thumping " with him which was more in depth, based on a long term of understanding, knowing and caring for each other.

If you are busy looking to fall in love with someone new, you may want to take a break and look around in the circle near you. You may see someone who is actually potential to know. Open your heart, smell roses and feel.

Do you want to have a long lasting marriage?  How? The key step is at the beginning of your dating - to choose a right person.

Sept 25th 2011

Mona and Michael are on their 7 weeks' honeymoon in China.

I attended their wedding on 27th August 2011 in a Catholic church in Sydney. Both of them are 65yo this year.  They met each other in Feb. 2011 after Michael came to visit our office.  Mona was the first person he met through our service.  They bought a house together at their engagement. I was invited to visit their beautifully decorated house after the reception.  Michael is a retired officer after 38years stable employment from a major public company.  He had spent past 15 years looking after his parents at their last years.  It was Michael's first marriage. Michael has never been so happy in his life. He looked much healthier, fitter and younger than he was when I first met him 6 month before. Mona had been married before, has 2 grown sons.  She was a retired medical doctor who looks 10years younger for her age, loaded with energy, a person who cares and looks after everyone around. She said to me: Michael is such a nice man. There aren't many around like him these days.  I am touched! We love each other and care for each other.  I have to accomodate to him by getting married once more, since marriage is essential by his religious belief.

It's never too late to love and be happy!

Don’t wait for your opportunity.  Share their energy and join their happiness!

It is very natural for most people when you are attracted to someone that you want to make them happy and be giving and please them. You start to do things which you do not normally do in order be your best.

Why a Perfect Partner is perfect for you?

- Do you feel not happy because your partner is not perfect? Use our service to check out your current relationship, whether you are on the right track.

Everyone wants a perfect partner. Some find it easily, some search hard. Why? You may say, some people are lucky, some are not. In fact: YES and NO.

Perfection is an ideal, an expectation rather than based on real life. When it comes to relationship, some people have in mind what " type " of person they want. The assessment of perfection often starts from appearance. Most men would feel they have a perfect partner if they meet a woman who looks like El McPherson; most girls would feel they have a perfect partner if they meet a man who likes Brad Pitts. Couples who met each other with initial physical attraction from both side, often stay on and start a relationship. But that perfect attraction doesn't mean a perfect relationship later on. It is a short lived perfection, and quickly can fade and die, which end up the relationship. Because: " they do not get along. "

There is no perfect partner by birth of a relationship. Love at first sight or strong attraction from beginning do not guarantee that you have found a perfect person or a perfect relationship. You need time to prove if it is perfect; you need endless effort to keep it perfect. Happily married couple are together because they are compatible with each other. They share similar values, morals, goals and life style. But they do argue, fights, disappointed with one another from time to time. What an outsider sees as a perfect marriage can involve an inside story of problems and pains. For years they stick to together, trying to tolerate the flaws and imperfections of each other. It is their effort that keeps their love alive. They did not find their dream partner from start; they worked out to be each other's perfect partner. 

Lucky couples are lucky because they choose to accept each other for what they are. Their good luck comes from their effort of learning about life and learning to understand that relationship contains joys and pains. 

Perfection is a state of individual feeling and not to be compared. Often we hear people talking about someone else who has a perfect wife or husband, etc. They fail to remember that a partner is personal. You can not wear someone else's shoe; what is perfect for A may not be perfect for B. People who aim at a partner like Brad Pitts or El McPherson, may have a long way to go towards their destiny. Someone else's partner looks perfect. But it may not be the same putting you with her or him, because "What he or she loves is not you". 

Some people are less lucky searching for years for that perfect person. They have rigid criterion for their dream partner. Unfortunately over the years, life just doesn't send them someone to their measurement. They are not lucky because they are not able to let go of their scheduled standards, or in other words, fantasy. We have a client who started using our service 11 years ago when he was at his early 30s, and now at mid 40s, is still single. In the early days he specified vey strict requirements for his potential partner, cultural background, physical appearance, age, etc. He has met many girls through our service and many other venues. Many girls I put him with were quite attractive with good personalities. However he had trouble to go beyond initial meeting as he put it: not attracted. Therefore he hardly had a long term dating partner in the past 11 years. He is a family man who regards marriage and kids as the most important. But he was very shy and in dealing with women, so often the girls he met did not feel comfortable with him, even though he is good looking. He is too focusing on looking for external perfection, and equally he failed to build himself with an attractive personality. He would have been married with a family by now if he had given himself chance to date those girls he met and discover their internal beauty which could turn out to be perfect later on. If he gave himself a go with those dates, he would have learned a great deal about women and about himself and how to deal with woman and starts a relationship. He has had many opportunities to practice and become a dream partner for many women. Now at mid 40, his chance to attract girls who match his initial criterion is even smaller than it was 11 years ago.

Many of his mates would have been married for 20 years with half dozen of kids. He is now going to face an unknown picture of a marriage with children.

Lucky or unlucky is an individual choice.

Using our service to check out  your current relationship. If you feel unlucky because you do not feel perfect with your partner. Come talk to me and find out whether you are on the right track.

A third person service can speed up your process of success in dating.

I will tell some stories which show how these people failed or succeeded. The way they utilised our service made such difference in their dating results.

Dating is like a mirror that reflects the inner condition of a person, quickly shows the personal attitude, weakness and strength in the way of communication. Our past experience inevitably affects us in our approach to a new person in dating. Most people carry more or less a bit of baggage, which can stand in the way in our way of building a positive connection with each other.

Story one:

People are guarded these days - Many opportunities of a happy relationship could be destroyed by misunderstanding caused by our past experience or attitude.

As our service policy, clients give me feedback after their initial meeting so I shall follow up with necessary support and work. This can ensure both sides receive honest feedback, know where they stand, in order to move on smoothly to dating each other or decide to meet a new person.

David, a marketing professional met Naomi, an architect in early 2003.  Both were at their mid 30s with no family. I knew David before Naomi came to our service. I introduced her to David as I realised she could be very potential for him. I was eager to see the result. Naomi called me after their initial meeting telling me confidently that they were going to meet again. David did not call, however I thought if the girl was so sure, there must be no problems. One and half month passed, I called David to see how they were doing.  To my surprise, he said they only met once! I asked: why? Didn't you like her? He answered: I liked her but I felt she was lukewarm so I never called again. It was too late for him to call her now after so many weeks gone by. She would have been cooled down or thinking he was coming back to her for the second best after roaming around for other options. In fact I did go to check with Noemi, she had decided to change job moving interstate.  This introduction failed after the initial meeting not because they did not like each other but because miscommunication.

If David followed the service policy to call me after their first meeting, I would have told him that her feedback was positive, and he would have no doubt in calling her to arrange second meeting. 

This situation happens very often in dating especially at initial stage. Many people are self guarded or conscious when meeting a stranger.  They tend to interpret body language negatively based on their past experience. Average Aussie men tend to " play safe " " don't want to be too forward at the beginning " -  I hear these all the time from guys.

On the other hand, Naomi could have sent out a mixed message to David at their initial meeting. She liked him a lot, as a result, she felt shy to express her feelings. Her holding back made David feel she was lukewarm. She again was too shy and self conscious to give David a ring or give me a ring when she did not hear from him. A different girl in her position with different personality and personal dating experience could have given David a ring after initial meeting saying " it was nice to meet you ". One short phone call or even a text message would have given David clear message that she was happy to meet him again.

Summary: David and Naomi could be a compatible couple. However the opportunity was lost due to the miscommunication.

I was very sad on this. I could have helped them better if at that time I had my knowledge now about people and their habit in dating.  After this experience, I would never let myself be in the dark once I put a couple together.  Since then I have had numerous stories showing that by keeping personal communication with my clients, we were able to removed blockage in their communication at initial stage of meeting. Many of those couples developed quickly into a happy long lasting relationship or marriage.

Cab you recall similar experience like that in your life?  Perhaps many opportunities have been wasted if you look back carefully.  This can happen more in blind dates such as online dating or meet people in singles crowds. However if you have a personal friend who is also friend with your dates, much of your time would have been saved. You would not have to read this by now because you would have been with  " your perfect partner "!

And that is the benefit you can get when use our service.

Everyone wants to be around with a happy person. So the number one on your check list is simple: Are you happy now on your own?

Some  people come to me saying: I have everything but I am not happy because I am single.....I will be happy when I have a husband/wife...etc.

If you expect to be filled with happiness by your partner or someone you meet?  You are presenting yourself as a black hole to suck their energy. You may temporarily attract someone. And chances are, either your partner will be drained soon by your neediness, or your will attract a character who manipulates on your neediness because you have it written on your forehead " I can not be living without you ".  A positive, level headed person will pick it up that you are looking for a care taker, and walk away.